It’s been a while. A long while. A picked up and tossed in the washing machine of life while.

To say 2017 has been tumultuous would be an understatement. This year has had more bumps in the last 6 months than my face when I was 15 and rediscovered my love of sugar.

Among the unequivocal highs of Fiji, my new job and my plans for New Zealand, have been a variety of little kicks to the gut from life.

My ex finally moved on. To one of my friends mind you. And whilst I cannot honestly say I was surprised, finding out on the grapevine was sort of like a slap in the face from the callused hand of life. So I started going to the gym more. Because god knows when you’re sad you should eat less and train harder, that just makes complete and utter sense. Real healthy.

My father’s job was ripped from under us, so I’ve spent a good chunk of the last few months attempting to help him apply for new work and suffering alongside him the disappointment of rejection. Sprinkled throughout the shit days were glimpses of better things to come; my placement in November. I try to dedicate most of my time to picturing how wonderful New Zealand will be in person because the rush of cool Wellington wind ought to blow the clutter from my head.

My depression has been more or less dormant this year, which was a surprise to me as much as anyone. Despite the new stresses and changing routines, my brain has been far less noisy and opinionated than she used to be. I think she may have finally realized I wasn’t listening to her anymore. Occasionally I catch her yacking and have to drown her out with the buzz of real life, which work has been fabulous for.

Working in retail pharmacy has been an experience I could never have imagined. I enjoy it, truly. Even after 7 hours and customers whose addictions and afflictions have become my routine, I still find myself caught in moments of genuine happiness. I think I could do this forever, this helping people thing. It’s good fun. The girls I work with were an unanticipated treat, especially after the mix of personalities at my old workplace.

The year has passed quickly but not without it’s drags. I can only hope the next couple months run by just as fast, so I can get away to the Land of the Long White Cloud and all it’s foreign booze.

Much love,

Sez xx

 

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