The Four Types of Authors

It’s probably a pretty reasonable estimate that you will have encountered at least one writer-type in your lifetime. If you’re reading this then you definitely have. (I count for about two or three different types). And I’m not talking about fiction writers or people who spend their lives obsessing over things and writing obscure poetry about it (me).

See the authors I have encountered were a beautiful and astonishing mix of people, and in each one I instantly found what made them successful, that characteristic that transcends physical being and flows into their writing like they bled onto every page.

And in some of them I found egotistic, self-indulging, drama-queenism. Which is toxic to be around.

The Artsy, Sweater wearing, Seventeen Earrings, would make a cool grandma-type:

I love these people for their innate abstract-ness and desire to be true to themselves. They stick out like sore thumbs but you are drawn to them, you love them and want to emulate them, but it’s impossible to capture their artistic quality. You can’t bottle it.

These ones usually paint, draw and listen to the craziest mix of music. They can be hard to swallow without a cup of something hot and sweet first, but they will be among the most genuine people you ever encounter.

The “I write FAN-FICS and I’m a #grammarwarrior“-type:

God these ones suck like 99% of the time. You occasionally encounter one that’s an alright person (I have met some, and at times was one) but the ones who going around with a sticker on their forehead saying “Look at me, I’m an author” but never thought of something original- they are bad.

Often huge drama queens, these ones know how to make you feel inadequate, despite the fact they are never as good as think. Rest peacefully in the knowledge that they will rarely get published in hard-copy.

The mid-life, time to reflect, so realistic I actually thought that book/poem/song happened to me-type:

These are the people who walk into a room, shake your hand and you instantly know they are wonderful. I think it’s all in the handshake. It says “I respect you”. Their words are such wonderfully, freakishly accurate portrayal of real life that it hurts, but you come away feeling like you’ve experienced something.

Everyday you spend in their company will feel like you’ve experienced something, gained a little wisdom and been put back in your place, but in the nicest possible way. (These are the ones I want to be).

The ones who love spoken word poetry because it’s angry, emotional and anti-establishment but it can be so beautiful-type:

Also drama queens, but they know it. They can be dudes. They can be gender-confused teenagers or ninety-year old Russians. Their work is inspiring, evokes all kinds of emotions and these people will have you on the same terrifying emotional roller coaster.

Not the type to be in your life forever, but brief encounters will set all your balls rolling. They are game changers in the word-world and really open your mind whilst narrowing your perspective. You’ll get in the zone with them and wanna crawl immediately back out.

I hope you have found a few in your lifetime, been inspired by them and dream of absorbing their best qualities for yourself.


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