Tips for surviving the first month of adulthood

It is a crazy, tumultuous time in your life. There will be parties and alcohol and licences to worry about (though hopefully not at the same time) and it is STRESSFUL!

So here are a few little tips to help you get through the first few crazy weeks:

1. Buy a cool box to put all of your new mail in. The tiny mailbox out the front of your house will explode with life insurance and bank cards and leaflets addressed to you now that you are in charge of your own life. Because I’m sure the first thing any new 18 year old does is go out and invest in pet insure for their dog. That their parents bought them. And pay for its food. And its vaccinations.

But you are going to need somewhere you can tuck all of this stuff away so that you can at least pretend to be organised when people ask where all of your important new stuff is.

2. Don’t stockpile your alcohol. I know a lot of kids who got alcohol for heir birthday and began a rather astounding collection of bottles under their be. Needless today they did not get a whole lot achieved at school for quite a while.

Also please don’t be the trashy girl at the party who has to be hosed off and sent home in a taxi. If you can’t handle your alcohol then limit your intake or organise a decent drinking buddy because having a reputation like “the trashy chick who passed out in a puddle of vodka puke” will pretty much annihilate opportunities for further invitation to parties. As will being the naked, crying girl all the time. You don’t want to be that kid.

3. Do selfless things for your parents about once a week and mutually beneficial activities like cleaning your room, every other day. This way you parents have no reason to say “she was really good for a while there”, because you can easily maintain that level of effort for extended periods of time. If you do too many nice things, they will get their hopes up and you will be a disappointment.

And parents don’t like picking up disappointments from parties at two in the morning when they are passed out drunk and their friends need somewhere to stay for the night. Fact.

4. Start a petrol fund even if you don’t have e license or a car. Because when you do get them, you are going to want to show off and drive around all the time and offer your friends a lift. So ensure you have some money for the fuel to get them there because no friend will thank you if they have to push your crappy old Corola four km home.

I know these tips don’t seem all that helpful, but when you are hung-over, failing all your classes, grounded and can’t find your bank statements, you’ll wish you’d listened to me.

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